For too long we’ve let them take over our streets and sidewalks, destroy our cars, shit on our heads, and eat our leftovers. They pollute our beaches, public parks, and ruin our trees. They make planes crash in the Hudson, they loiter, and think its OK to just walk around buck naked. No more.

It’s time to take back our country from this airborne menace. In the spirit of misdirected anger and revenge, let’s celebrate with a weekend rooftop party in Greenpoint where we last blew the roof off with a cajun festival. This time it’s birds. All sorts of birds and other flying things — six, by our count. Imagine a deconstructed turduckcornquailhenritchken and you’ve got the idea.

Plus, to get your anger up, we’ll be projecting Hitchcock’s classic, The Birds, onto the adjacent building, so bring along your sweetheart and goggles (so your eyes don’t get pecked out) and RSVP fast.