Geia sas, Nauts!

Not a night had passed since our Turkish feast, when the Greeks from the far-away Island of Astoria called upon us:

“Look at you, you’re still digesting that Turkish food. How could you let those fez-heads cook for you?” they decried. “Those footrests don’t know how to make a decent meal! Come to Astoria and let us Greeks cook for you. The Greeks are the cradle of civilization! We already had democracy and government shutdowns when other people were still trying to figure out how to breed sheep…”

“Sure, Kostas” we replied, what will you cook for us?”

“What will I cook for you? (Pounding his chest…) We will make you a feast the likes of which you’ve never seen! We’ll serve you delicious Thalassomezes Octopus, our special fried zucchini and eggplant with our thickest garlic Skordalia sauce. We’ll have bitter dandelion greens, and arugula and pomegranate salads. Then, the finest sweetbreads, sautéed in the loveliest Greek olive oil, tossed with the freshest of herbs. And finally, Baby lamb heads! We will boil then roast 15 baby lamb heads, which you must pry open with your cruel hands—all the better to extract the delicate, meaty goodness from within their lovely infant skulls, and savor the beautiful delicious face meat falling off the bone. You’ll sit in our garden, crack a skull, and drink all the wine and beer you can.”

So get ready Nauts, RSVP immeditately, and get your asses to Astoria. We’ve corralled their garden room out back but seats are limited for this one, and you’re not going to want to miss this feast.