Heya Nauts!

It’s finally looking like spring, and so yes, it’s our birthday! Our little club is now 9 years old. They grow up so fast!

Of course, since this is a special celebration, we have something very special in store for you — something you will absolutely not find on any menu in the United States. We can’t tell you what it is, but if you have enough horse sense you can figure it out. We can’t exactly promise you a pony for your 9th birthday, but if you’re good…

It wasn’t exactly easy finding this month’s special dinner ingredient, so we saddled up and traveled into the frigid wastelands of Quebec, to Montreal, where we trotted from market to butcher and back, looking for that perfect USDA-unapproved prime cut. Hoofing it back across the border, we were briefly detained and questioned by grim-faced border guards, but managed to talk our way back into the U.S. with this month’s dinner ingredient intact. From there, it was a canter back to our secret location in Brooklyn for our good friend to get to work, preparing what can only be described as a feast worthy of the end-of-days.

So, won’t you please join us for a birthday celebration of the Four Horsemeats of the Apocalypse? Needless to say, you’ll want to RSVP for this one immediately. Whether you’re partial to English or Western, seats are already filling up fast…